Setbacks and Cultivating Impermanence in Eating Disorder Recovery
By Liz Dehler, Guest Contributor
Note: This blog is part of a monthly series that aims to provide the Y4ED community with basic teachings and principles from Buddhist Psychology to promote healing and the development of compassionate minds.
A January sunset on Vancouver Island, Canada.
Whether you have been doing recovery work for years or are just getting started, setbacks are an unavoidable part of the journey. Often, when we are in these low points, it can be very challenging to remember that ‘this too shall pass.’
An essential doctrine of Buddhist psychology is impermanence. Impermanence is the idea that nothing -- no thought, feeling, state of mind, emotion, pain or sensation -- will ever persist or be unchanged.
Harnessing the idea of ‘impermanence’ within eating disorder recovery can be a tool to help shape a new relationship with an individual’s experience with themselves and with the world around them. Fundamentally, impermanence is accepting that in mere seconds, the pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral experience will no longer exist as it is in this moment. Perhaps, the feeling of guilt has changed to sadness. Perhaps the excitement has changed to joy, or perhaps the thought of worthlessness has become more neutral.
This month, I invite you to look at ways in which you can design your life to embrace impermanence. Growing a plant by the window can be a simple way to notice the beauty and sadness that arises in the plant’s existence: the flowers bloom; the flowers fade and die. Another way to experience impermanence is watching a sunset sky filled with hundreds of colours, which then slowly dissipate into nightfall. Whatever you may choose, let there be hope, freedom and curiosity in this enfolding.
Here is a short practice you can try right now:
Take a few moments to find a quiet spot, and close your eyes. Notice yourself in space. Take this time to familiarize yourself with the inner workings of your mind. Notice your thoughts rise and fall. Watching whatever arises with tenderness and care, and simply noting: ‘This too is impermanent.’
This capacity to observe what is happening in your own mind without having to follow your thoughts is an incredibly powerful strength. Having this space, you may begin to recognize that there is an experiencer of the experience for which you can observe.
Continuing to observe what is happening in your mental domain, you may able to explore a little bit deeper: ‘Can I allow my feelings to emerge like waves and disappear like waves into the ocean?’
Liz Dehler is a mentor, writer, yoga teacher and Contemplative Psychotherapy student at the Nalanda Institute for Contemplative Sciences. As a guest contributor for this series, she is passionate about sharing her interests on contemplative psychology and psychotherapy to foster an empowering environment and promote inquiry-based approach to recovery.