Removing the "Blocks" In Eating Disorder Recovery

By Ashley Paige, Yoga for Eating Disorders Writer

Research shows that the average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts each day, 95% of which are exactly the same as the day before. Having awareness of those repetitive thoughts is an important part of forming our reality, since our thoughts create our feelings which inform our actions. Without awareness of our thoughts, we may subconsciously stay in familiar patterns that cause us suffering, creating psychological blocks in the mind. In yoga philosophy, these blocks are called kleshas and there are five of them: ignorance, ego, attachment, aversion, and fear.

These blocks, or afflictions, bind us to negative mental patterns that obscure our true nature and keep us stuck in cycles of suffering. The kleshas can be a helpful lens through which to understand how eating disorder thoughts and behaviors create blocks in our lives. Once we understand the block, we can learn to make new choices that will lessen its intensity and eventually remove it.

The Five Kleshas

Avidya, or ignorance, is the primary klesha. It is characterized as being unaware of the true nature of reality, or more simply: when we resist reality or want reality to be different than it is. It appears when we fail to recognize ourselves as spiritual beings. Our material lives create the illusion that the temporary is eternal. In reality, we are divine spirits having a human experience. In an eating disorder, we attach to the physical body, romanticizing the life we’ll have once we achieve an ideal appearance. The four other kleshas emerge from avidya.

Asmita, or ego, is identified as a false sense of self. The ego, a substitute identity, takes its place when the true self is forgotten. The ego defines itself by its position and possessions in life and gets offended when it doesn’t receive approval. We believe we are our ego, but in fact, we are not. Identifying with the ego keeps us trapped within false projections. When we are battling an eating disorder, this shows up as tying our identity to our appearance. We seek the approval of others by controlling our body which creates a sense of safety. We limit the extent to which we engage in life’s experiences according to how we look externally. 

Raga, or attachment, pertains to objects of desire. Our attraction to and fear of not obtaining our desires creates suffering in an endless cycle of pleasure-seeking. Clinging to an illusion of security instills an underlying current of anxiety. For those who struggle with eating disorders, this appears as a deep fear of the body changing, a strong and constant concern over a possible loss of control, and a strong need for approval from others.

Dvesha, or repulsion, is contrary to raga in that it’s the avoidance of things, people, or situations we don’t want. These things pull us into negativity and what-if thinking that pose a threat to our ego. Eating disorder behaviors like denying hunger and avoiding fullness stem from this klesha.

Abhinivesha, or the will to live, is ultimately the fear of death. The deepest and most universal klesha is the attachment to life itself. The transition between one expression of your spirit and another is an unconscious fear many of us hold. The reality of how our temporary worldly existence is can be a hard truth to accept. Suffering from this klesha could lead to orthorexia, the unhealthy obsession with eating healthy, in an attempt to prolong life. We can also relate this klesha to all fears we experience, for fear often blocks us from making the changes we know we need in order to recover and restore health of mind, body, and spirit.

Transcending Suffering Through Yoga

Awareness precedes change. If we are willing to self-reflect for clearer understanding and knowledge, we have the power to see the roots of the kleshas as separate from ourselves. In a pure consciousness state, we notice the kleshas as the illusions they are while staying grounded in ourselves. Simply by acknowledging them we lessen their power.

Meditation can be a helpful tool to learn to objectively recognize one’s kleshas. By learning to be an observer of our thoughts, over time and with practice, we can see more clearly our ego in action or how attachments and aversions are influencing our decisions. We can gain clarity about how fear holds us back and can plan a course of action with support to address what’s holding us back. We can come to terms with the reality that we are more than a body, but also that our bodies are an essential aspect of who we are, and that our body deserves attention, care, and to have its basic needs met. Once we’re liberated from the kleshas’ control, our true nature can brightly shine.

A Meditation on Forgiveness for Daily Practice

To begin the process of overcoming our kleshas, self-forgiveness is a helpful place to start. I invite you to practice the meditation below daily by Ann Saffi Biasetti, author of Befriending Your Body, to guide you to embrace that being human comes with struggle, and opening your awareness to how making different choices can free you from the blocks that hold you back. You can recite it, reflect on the words, journal about it, or use it in a way that resonates with you for daily practice.

Embracing Humanness

By Ann Saffi Biasetti, author of Befriending Your Body

In my humanness I make mistakes.

In my humanness I get confused.

In my humanness I often do not know.

In my humanness I am not perfect.

I understand and am growing into forgiveness and acceptance of my most human qualities.

I forgive myself for not knowing what I did not know before I learned it.

Raised in the suburbs of Philadelphia, Ashley Lane is a yoga instructor and body image coach on the Pacific Southwest coast of Nicaragua. Through her recovery of orthorexia she transitioned from a rigorous asana practice to now healing, accepting, and connecting with her body through yoga philosophy. She’s rediscovering hobbies like psychology, baking, music and art, as well as pursuing new interests such as writing and surfing. She believes her healing journey can support others to overcome their own struggles with body image. Ashley writes for the Yoga for Eating Disoders blog and is founder of Ashley Paige Coaching.